Fortress Party 2008 Retrospective

Early in 2008, we wrote and recorded Fortress of Lovingkindness, a poppy pump-up song that has been linked to many of the subsequent Fortress Party invitations. I think it still holds up.  

At some point, I must have dropped the FP'08 videotape in the toilet, because it's a little distorted. Hopefully you gin that more charming than unwatchable. 

I want to provide some context for Alaskan Fishing Fever, one of the rooms that is shown in the video.  A few months before Fortress Party 2008, Katie Couric interviewed Sarah Palin on CBS, and the latter didn't come off sounding particularly sharp. We took actual transcripts of that interview, and turned them into Mad-Libs. Instead of asking guests to make up up nouns, verbs, and adjectives, they would fish for them off the landing of our second story balcony. The fishing line had a magnet at the end of it, and at the bottom was a kiddie-pool filled with different-colored plastic fish tied to metal washers. The Mad Libs was ask for a fish of a certain color rather than a part of speech. For instance, the blue fish would all have nouns on them (i.e. "Soccer Mom"), while the orange fish would have adjectives (i.e. "Taxy-Spendy.") 

As the guest list grew from year to year, I started taking pictures of the shoes near the entrance around midnight. In retrospect, this is not an impressive number of shoes, but a nice peek at the hottest Winter footwear Fashion of 2008. 

Candyland was one of the most uninspired room themes of the modern era. I think we came up with it the week of the party. We put colored construction paper around the walls to simulate a track on the game board, and filled the room with bowls of candy. Not surprisingly, the latter feature was a big hit with a certain set. (Some of whom, I might add, should have learned their lesson about overindulging in unlimited Fortress sweets after the Oreo incident of '07.) 

Here is Mrs. O'Leary's Shed, the source of the infamous Chicago fire. Against our best judgement, we included real straw bales again. This time, at least, the room was uncarpeted, and when it was over, we threw them out the window and dragged them under the porch. 

Lauren convinced her law clerk buddies to come to the Fortress Party, and they spent most of the night among the straw bales. 

The chalk outline of the cow who kicked over the lantern and started it all. 

The Cyborg Wedding. The bride looks like she could use a jumpstart.

In 2008, we decided to use Fortress Party as a fundraiser for 826Michigan, a local nonprofit that helps school-age children develop their creative writing skills, among other things. 826Michigan lent us a bunch of the 'robots' from their Liberty Street Robot Supply and Repair storefront.

Shown above are some of the 826Michigan employees and volunteers, who would be Fortress stalwarts (and part of the creative team) in coming years. 

The Space Bar was completely dark except for glow-in-the-dark and blacklight things. Of course, I couldn't get a picture of it without the flash, which takes away all the mystery. 

 

Amazing Sea Monkeys! Again, the flash takes away all the ambience. We had seaweed hung floor to ceiling and a little bubble machine. (Note: bubble machines are wonderful indoors, if you want everything in your room covered with soap scum.) There were three metallic blue walls, and one transparent one, to simulate an aquarium that could be viewed from the outside. 

University of Michigan Property Disposition resells unused or gently used office and lab supplies to the public at a discount. I used to go there one or twice a year looking for inspiration, but rarely found anything that made its way into the fortress. But in 2007, I happened to notice that they were selling a deeply discounted box of Small Athletic Supporters, so I bought all of them. These would end up appearing as props in the next 10 Fortress Parties. 

Their first appearance was in the Fallout Shelter a Cold War Era bomb shelter. You need to stock up on supplies for impending nuclear winter, right? Well, then, you need a shelf of Campbell's canned tomato soup, and right below that (and only seen in the video) a shelf of small athletic supporters. Because it's important to be prepared for anything. 

With warmest regards, 

Zach

Appendix: Fortress Party 2008 Reminder Email

Fortress Party 2008
Saturday December 6
7pm-7am
2720 White Oak Dr.
Ann Arbor, MI 48103

If You CAN Come to Fortress Party This Year
I hope you enjoy the feeling of your own hand patting your back, because you've made a very important decision and you should be proud. 
 
In the meantime, let me address the question you're really curious about. What local non-profit is Fortress Party championing this year?
 
The answer is 826Michigan, an organization that fosters creative writing skills in school-age children.  While Fortress Party is still free, we are asking that our guests consider making a donation to 826Michigan. Your tax-deductible contribution will allow 826Michigan to offer thousands of area students free after-school tutoring, in-class support for local teachers, and creative evening and weekend workshops. Learn more about this super-duper organization and what they have done for the kids in our community.
 
In addition to their efforts to help children develop writing skills, 826Michigan is also the home of Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair. This shop services foreign and domestic home robots and carries a considerable stock of replacement parts and upgrades for most government-approved models. This year, 826Michigan has sponsored Fortress Party by loaning us the robots that will be serving soft drinks and neatening up after you go home. For every $20 you donate to 826Michigan, you will be permitted to verbally abuse one of these robots for five minutes. This is a special offer for Fortress Party guests only, and comes at a 50% discount off the already low price they charge at Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair.
 
If You CAN'T Come to Fortress Party this year
You will be missed, but don't apologize to me. I have already commissioned a robot with your approximate build and alcohol tolerance to keep me company during the party. In the meantime, you can show the world how sorry you are for missing Fortress Party by making a donation to 826Michigan.