Dear Friends,
Last year, Malcolm was cast in the role of Fred in the Pioneer High School production of Oklahoma! Fred is one of the farmers who attends town meetings and social gatherings, nodding and clapping people on the back. Occasionally, he shouts plot-moving interjections like "Sure is!" or "That's right!" or "Go on, tell us!"
Malcolm was wonderful. Fred is supposed to be a chorus member but audiences agreed that Malcolm brought the energy and gravitas of a Featured Supplementary Supporting Character. It was a definitely a proud parenting moment for us!
This month's Hard Taco song, "The Barber and the Plow Driver (Should Fight)," is an attempt to recapture that old-style musical magic. Both the kids play small roles, and I daresay they elevate their characters from Featured Townspersons to Memorable Civilian Taxpayer Inhabitants.
The key to the success of this song is that it has parentheses in the tile. That puts it in distinguished company! Parentheses can transform a forgettable B-Side into an instant Billboard Top 10 single. Just look at what happened to "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" and "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)."
Going forward, I will no longer waste time inventing new song titles from whole cloth. Rather, I will take existing popular songs with parentheses in their titles, and simply swap the parenthetical parts. Listeners will be primed to love these songs, but they won't know why! Here are my planned mashups:
The Blue Oyster Cult and Aretha Franklin
- "(You Make Me Feel Like) The Reaper"
- "(Don't Fear) A Natural Woman"
Elton John and The Offspring
- Pretty Fly (For Fighting)
- Saturday Night's Alright (For a White Guy)
T. Rex and R.E.M.
- Bang a Gong (And I Feel Fine)
- It's The End of the World As We Know It (Get it On)
- I Want You (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)
- It's a Long Way to the Top (She's So Heavy)
- (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Be Loved By You)
- How Sweet It Is (To Party)
- I'd Do Anything For Love (In the Name of Love)
- Pride (But I Won't Do That)
Train and They Might be Giants
- Istanbul (Tell Me)
- Drops of Jupiter (Not Constantinople)
- (I've Had) (The Time of Your Life)
- Good Riddance The Time of My Life
Elton John and Cutting Crew
- (I Just) (Think It's Going To Be A Long, Long Time)
- Rocket Man Died In Your Arms
- (Sittin' On) (A Man After Midnight)
- Gimme Gimme Gimme The Dock of the Bay
- Stronger Peace Love, and Understanding
- (What's So Funny Bout) (What Doesn't Kill You)
Brittney Spears and The Proclaimers
- (You Drive Me) (500 Miles)
- I'm Gonna Be Crazy
With warmest regards,
Zach
