Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Finding Mr. Smile

Dear Friends,

Hard Taco song for October is called, "Seasonal Affective." This song is so good, if you play it in your car, all of the manholes will explode into the sky you drive by. Ka-Woosh!*

   Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a well-characterized mood disorder in which patients suffer from symptoms of depression during periods of inadequate light exposure. This usually happens during prolonged periods of dimness, such as the winter months. However, there are severe forms of SAD in which patients can feel hopeless and deflated after brief periods of inadequate light, such as when their eyes are covered during a game of "Pin the Tail on the Donkey." Tragically, hundreds of Mexican children take their own lives every year when they are blindfolded and handed a piƱata bat

   There are several other forms of stimulus-induced depression, including Latitude Affective Disorder (LAD), Euclidean Geometry Affective Disorder (EGAD), Queen Affective Disorder (QUAD) or a subset of that, Bohemian Rhapsody Affective Disorder (BRAD). Some people also suffer from Thinking Outside Of the Box Affective Disorder (TOO BAD) or even Midcourse Architectural and Terminal Tier Review Expeditionary Sustainable Solutions Program Affective Disorder (MATTRESS PAD).
   Finally, there is an uncommon syndrome in which feelings of anger and frustration are caused by confusing "Affect" and "Effect." This condition has been called People Incorrectly Spelling Seasonal Effective Disorder (PISSED).
   The most effective therapy for these conditions is the four-pronged combination treatment of chinning up, hunkering down, finding Mr. Smile, and tucking away all the blues into an invisible envelope that can't be opened.

With warmest regards,

* While "Ka-Woosh" is certainly an appropriate sound effect for exploding manhole covers, it is also falafel wrapped in lamb and grape leaves.