Love Is

Dear Friends,

  This is the kind of day that people who write newsletters live for. We newsletter writers are kind of a strange lot, I guess, but we really salivate over the idea of using outlines.

I. Outline

II. New Album - "TENDER IS THE HEART"

  A. Love is Really Great

     1. Nothing is Greater than Love

     2. Music Without Love is Worthless Crap

  B. I Hate Love Why Bother

III. Sexy Hard Taco Summerwear

IV. He May Well Have Died for Your Sins

V. Conclusion

II. "TENDER IS THE HEART," the first new Hard Taco album in over a year, is now available! It includes ten of the best loved favorites from the website over the last year, all remixed and remastered, plus all kinds of exciting extras.

A. Love is Really Great

You people have often berated me for not writing more love songs. I would like to thank you for teaching me a lesson.  You couldn't be more right! As it turns out, 1. There is nothing greater than love and 2. Music without love is worthless crap! To prove this assertion, I have worked all year to write ten of the most deeply personal love songs ever and put them on the new Hard Taco album. If your very soul has ever ached from the suffocating embrace of true love, you will certainly relate to such favorites as "Let's Talk About Feelings," "Don't Do That to My Heart," or "I Never Met a Woman (Like the One I've Met in You)." Everyone will find something to yearn along with in this collection.

B. I Hate Love Why Bother

If this is your response, you should still consider buying a copy of "Tender Is the Heart." The album also includes a hidden bonus track (Hint: It's track 4!) of non-love related, overtly masculine Hard Taco music entitled, "Unemployment Line." Honestly, though... I know you've been hurt before, but that's no reason to slam the door on love forever.  Love may right there under your nose you just have to open your nose and let it in!

III. Sexy Hard Taco Summerwear

Here's a weird development. I am pleased to announce that the "Taco Stand" is officially open for business. You can actually purchase Hard Taco merchandise such as T-shirts, underwear, frisbees, etc. Why not get some? If this seems a little too commercial for a band that doesn't really exist, keep in mind that the company that makes the merchandise gets all of the profits. I get nothing except the voyeuristic satisfaction of knowing that YOUR BABY is wearing a Hard Taco bib. Please buy one, put it on the baby and send me a picture. (At least put SOMETHING on that baby. It makes me uncomfortable when you send me pictures of the baby naked.) 

IV. He May Well Have Died for Your Sins

I know what you've been waiting for and I'm going to give it to you in the worst way... Christian Rock! Check out the August song, "I Asked for a Barbell." It doesn't really rock, actually. It's a pretty acoustic song, and come to think of it, it's not especially Christian either. There is, however, an instrumental part where you can sing, "Christ Almighty Lord and Savior hallowed son of our immaculate Virgin Mother" if you are so inclined. If it doesn't seem to fit, try singing the word savior in three syllables (i.e. Say-vee-yore).

V. Conclusion

I don't really have a good conclusion, so I borrowed this one from my "commendable" fifth grade book report.

"In conclusion, The Wind in the Willows is a very interesting book about animals who have to get taught valuable lessons and with an interesting ending. I recommend The Wind in the Willows because it is fun to read especially if you like animals like me. "

With Warmest Regards,

- Zach