185

Dear Friends,

Welcome to the 185th Hard Taco Digest. This is a significant milestone in my house because 185 is also the name of my family's favorite game to play during road trips, during dinner, and while my kids are trying to do homework or sleep. The rules are simple. Someone suggests a subject, and everyone falls over themselves to tell jokes about that subject. The catch is that all of the jokes are y identical until the last line. The framework of the joke is as follows:

185 [blanks] walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve [blanks] here." 185 [blanks] say, "[punchline]."

It is an exercise in exquisite puncraft, and it favors quantity over quality. A true master must fashion no fewer than 20 bad jokes on any subject to establish his or her puncraftsmanship.

The Hard Taco song for November is called, "Your Best Emily Dickinson." In honor of this song's namesake, I will demonstrate a round of 185 using poets as the subject.

1.
185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "No problem. We called a taxi and it's SONNETS way."

2.
185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "Well guys, shall we just go HOMER find a different bar?"

3.
185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "But I already ordered a martini... THE ROAD NOT SHAKEN, but stirred."

4.
185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "We can't leave yet. Our sister told us to METER here."

5.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "But the bouncer just told us to CUMMINGS side!"

6.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "I'll leave, but IAMB not happy about it."

7.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "This is the VERSE night of our lives."

8.

185 poets with lisps walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets with lisps here."
185 poets with lisps say, "If I were to make a lisht of bad pubsh, thish one would be on the top of that PUBLISHED."

9.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "'Til we finish the contents of this COUPLET us stay."

10.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "I knew you guys were cons-BYRON to kick us out."

11.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "ODE dear."

12.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "Wow. You just said that to our faces point BLAKE."

13.
185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "But we haven't even had a chance to try out EPIC up line that we've been working on!"

14.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "Don't make us hire a (walt w)HITMAN to take you out!"

15.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "Damn MUSE son of a bitch."

16.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "Well, it's getting ALITER-ATE anyway, so we should get going."

17.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "Isn't there anyone here who STANZA up for us?"

18.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "Can Langston HUGHES the bathroom first? Because, you know, Langston really has to go bad."

19.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "That's illegal discrimination... I'll PROSEcute you!"

20.

185 poets walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry.  We don't serve poets here."
185 poets say, "LAGER LAGER EVERYWHERE AND NOT A DROP TO DRINK!"

Think you can do better? Hit me with your best shot. (Which is exactly what 185 Pat Benatars would say to a bartender.)

With warmest regards,
Zach