The Five Finger Discount

Dear Friends,

There are five words in the title of this month's Hard Taco song, "Blood Is Thicker Than Chlorine." The song is in 5/4 time, which means it has five beats per measure. This makes it easy to dance to, as long as you have two-and-a-half legs.

In honor of all of this five-ness, I also wrote this poem/numerological prophesy:


A LIST OF THINGS THAT COME IN FIVES

Five are the lines on a musical staff
The composer composes a score on
Five are the oceans, and five the Great Lakes
Five are the protons in boron

Five are the Jacksons, and five the Maroons

Five are the number of bandages

You'll need to attend to a starfish's wounds

After twisting off all its appendages

Five are the letters that make the word Harry

So five points for Gryffindor! (Potter's house)

Five are the Spice Girls from Sporty to Scary

And Vonnegut's favorite slaughterhouse

Five are the senses and stages of grief

And the biblical booklets of Moses

Five are the types of Chanel you can dab

On your five little fingers or toes-es

The five-second rule can apply to all five

Of the food groups, which I find incredible

Five seconds turns something dropped on the floor 

From delicious and pure to inedible

All zip codes consist of five numbers, my friends 

From the five New York boroughs to rural Maine

"Precarious" has all five vowels, and also

Describes the fifth class of a hurricane

Five are the cents in a Jefferson nickel
The five-dollar bill has Abe Lincoln

So come and take five
And slap me high five
And raise up a fifth and start drinkin'

With warmest regards,
Zach