The Hard Taco song for April is called "Sloppy." This song will allow you to channel your inner pigeon and bob your head quasi-rhythmically.
I've been spending the weekend with some relatives, so I took the opportunity to outsource this month's Hard Taco Digest to them. Each of them was asked to write a poem about something from the news the year he or she was born. Here are those poems, in reverse chronological order.
2008
by Malcolm London (son)
SpaceX!
SpaceX!
You did it!
Hooray!
You launched Falcon 1 without any delay.
You showed NASA that you can do it yourself
But I hope you find room on your trophy shelf.
2007
by Shaina Wolkenberg (niece)
Walking along the sidewalk
Backwards because the snow
Only made it across one block
Because of the blizzards we all know.
Through Denver and Chicago
Then Kansas gets a blow
From a tornado spinning fastly
2007, here we go.
2005 Haikus
by Scarlett London (daughter)
Hurricanes are bad
Katrina was terrible
Lots of people died
Many people fled
They did not want to perish
In the hurricane
It was very sad
Because lots of people died
In the hurricane
Lots of lives were lost
In hurricane Katrina
They were very sad
The hurricane struck
People sprinted for their lives
To escape the storm
It was very sad
When the hurricane happened
Because there was death
Dogs and humans died
In that nasty hurricane
Most everyone's dead
It was very big
It was category five
It was scary, too
Lots of pets perished
The owners were very sad
Then the owners died
Everybody died
In hurricane Katrina
It was quite quite sad
1976
by Lauren London (lead singer)
COD WARS! The conflict scarcely known
Just who could own sweet abalone.
In North Atlantic waters cold,
Did Iceland stalk her coasts, so bold.
But British schooners also claim'd
those famous fisheries untam'd.
Oh! Fishers brandishing their spears,
Jeering temper'd trawlers' leers.
Thrice the parties met in ire!
With fish a-floppin' to acquire.
Just smell the mighty drying pile
of pescatorial carcass vile.
Thrice did Iceland get its wish
Oh, fate befalling chips and fish!
But peace in '76 returned,
And Celtics each their cod have earned.
1950
by Nina Schwartz (mother-in-law)
Joseph McCarthy, or "Tail-Gunner Joe"
Demagogue, liar, and everyone's foe
Started the Red Scare by claiming to know
A who's who of commies. It just wasn't so.
He stated the U.S. Department of State
Was harboring pinkos, in fact, quite a spate
Said he had a paper, right there in his hand
And the House forced some good guys to take the stand.
Charlie Chaplin, Helen Keller, Fred Zinnemann, Pete Seeger
All came under their gavel eager
He finally earned censure in 1954
And we thought the the big lie had been killed evermore.
1949
by Bob Schwartz (father-in-law)
78s are breakable
45s are stackable
We make that change
In 1949
Song would have more runtime
But for music, not a fun time
Pop tunes a drag
In 1949
U.S. leaves Korea
Stalin says, "We'll see ya."
The boys come home
In 1949
Mao says, "I rule China."
Gives Chaing Kai Shek a shinah
So he takes Taiwan
In 1949
Russia tests its big tomato
The U.S.A. and pals form NATO
It's two armed camps
In 1949
Then George Orwell has a vision
Sees the future with precision
Guns kill folks but lies kill even more
His book is his prediction
It isn't only fiction
Suddenly it's 1984.
1948
by Carol Wulfson (aunt-in-law)
The most amazing news
Was the ending of diaspora for all o the Jews
And even though we were celebrating
Different wars were gestating
Why is there never peace?
1948
by Roberta Wine London (mother)
It is post World War Two and and the babies are a boom.
The year is 1948, and peace can't come too soon.
With the Soviets West Berlin a blockading
And the musical South Pacific Broadwaying
TVs now number over a million sets
Velcro is invented, and 33 rpm records....but not yet cassettes.
Polio is affecting kids more and more
Famous people born thIs year : James Taylor, Andrew Lloyd Weber and Al Gore.
The game of Scrabble is invented by a guy named Brunot
And Porshe is founded...but not Pugeot.
The bikini is finding a body of support hardcore,
And there were earthquakes in Turkmenistan and Ecuador.
The UN is busy with post War insights
Including The World Health Organization and the Declaration of Human Rights.
Soldiers back from the War are making up for lost time
Harry Truman is President during the birth of Roberta Wine.
1918
Thelma Gordon (grandmother-in-law)
Spanish Flu...
I
Hate
You!
Hate
You!
With warmest regards,
Zach
