Tuesday, August 1, 2023

The Extraordinary F-Word

Dear Friends,

The Hard Taco song for August is called, "Wish I'd Spent More Time In the Office."

This song is noteworthy because it contains the rarest of curse words: The F-word! 

The F-word is vanishingly elusive in the wild, especially when it comes to song lyrics, owing to just how explicit and irreverent of a word it is.

It's also very taboo. 

Some might quiver at the thought of a word this vulgar escaping their lips, but not me. Cuss words are like my secret spice rack. I just sprinkle them into conversation as if they were regular words. I have an indecent word or phrase for every occasion. 

The incidence of profane words in Hard Taco songs will demonstrate the magnitude of my swearaholic tendencies:

  • The D-word: 20 songs
  • The H-word: 16 songs
  • The C-word: 7 songs (The other C-word. I'm not that much of a potty mouth.)
  • The A-word: 6 songs
  • The S-word: 5 songs
  • Bitch: 4 songs
  • The F-word: 2 songs, one of which was bleeped out.

The obscenest words on this list have proven to be the most boundary-pushing AND envelope-pushing. I unleash a deluge of D-bombs with minimal provocation, but the F-word? I save that for when I really need to raise some serious eyebrows. 

Do I have your attention now? Are you shocked by these naughty bits? 

Deal with it, because I'm not toning it down for anyone, no matter how hard they blush. The world needs to know that Zach is not taking this nonsense lying down, and the only way to show them all is by cursing like a filthy ninja. 

You think ninjas don't talk? Clearly, your sensitive brain has repressed the widely acknowledged truth that ninjas swear constantly. It's part of their code. Ninjas are just a frenetic flurry of inventive expletives and shuriken, and hanging around me is the same experience. (Minus the shuriken, of course. Safety first!)

Sometimes, I say a cuss word when I first wake up, just to get going. 

If you need someone to throw some colorful linguistic grenades with zero remorse, you know who to call. Spoiler alert: It's me. 

With warmest regards,

Zach



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