Magnetic Resonance and the Neurology Playground

Dear Friends,

My newsfeed has been filled with stories of high-profile public figures resigning in protest - and making their resignation letters public. I usually steer clear of negativity in my life, but this particular slice of human drama fascinated me enough to inspire the Hard Taco song for April, "Take a Dictation, Ms. DiBella." 

You may recall that I have a side hustle as a designer of neurology-themed board and card games through a fake company called NeurdGames. We have a few new offerings that I'd like to bring to your attention!

Magnetic Resonance

This goofy party game is the the newest collaboration with Ali Christy, co-author of Endowed Chairs and Neurdle. In Magnetic Resonance, one player reads a neurology-themed prompt and the other players scramble to come up with the best answer using a big pile of medical words. 

Most of the parts for this game are hand made. Thus, I'm selling it through my Etsy shop, rather than a third-party print-on-demand board game manufacturer. What does that mean for you? It means my fingerprints will be all over it, so it's a great purchase if you are hoping to frame me for smuggling or cybercrime.

Dictation Errors

Dictation Errors came out in late 2024, but I'm floating it to the top of your inbox becaus it has has a theme song. That's right, aforementioned Hard Taco Song for this month, "Take a Dictation, Ms. DiBella" has the word Dictation in its title, so I'm counting it as the theme song. Does the song have anything in common with the game? About as much as Billy Ocean the singer, Ocean's Eleven the heist movie and Ocean Spray the cranberry juice have in common with each other.

Dictation Errors is aimed at anyone who has a medical background and likes shouting. I am starting a rumor that if you give this to a med student, they will start referring to you as their favorite aunt. 

The Neurology Playground

The Neurology Playground the newest addition to the Neurdgames Family. It's a library of FREE print-and-play or playground games. There are already 12 games in the library, and it's growing like a magic beanstalk. And yes, these are also all neurology-themed. If that's not your vibe, go grab a quick neuroscience PhD and come back. I'll wait. 

With warmest regards,

Zach

Is This Rapport That I'm Feeling?

Dear Friends,

The Hard Taco song for March is called "XL@XS," which is just a Gen Z way of saying, "Gen X excels at excess and has excellent access to eugenics."

Lauren and I are about to celebrate our 24th anniversary. According to the Census Bureau, the average length of a marriage in the United States is about 20 years. That number takes into account three things:

• Divorce
• Death
• The U.S. Census Bureau is suddenly and inexplicably disbanded, so they stop counting

So, what's the secret to our slightly better than average tenure? Call me corny, but I can sum it up in one word: rapport. 

It was rapport at first sight. A legendary, once-in-a-generation rapport. It conquers all, it makes the world go round, and it is a many-splendored thing. And 24 years later, we make sure to show each other our unconditional rapport in lots of little ways every day.

One way that I express my deep and enduring rapport for my wife is by making her punny Valentine's Day cards. With her permission, you are free to download this INTERACTIVE SLIDESHOW and repurpose these gently used Valentines with your special someone. 

Here's the best way to do it:

1. DOWNLOAD to a computer (not a phone)

2. Open the PowerPoint file from the computer. It works best with native PowerPoint, rather than the online version.

3. Play the Slideshow

4. Click on the image of interest to see the Valentine, and again to see the Valentine message.

5. Try in vain to figure out all 82 puns.

5. Use the red arrows in the bottom right to navigate back to the main menu.

This activity is also an excellent way to pass time with a friend and cultivate a brotherly, platonic rapport.  

With warmest regards,

Zach

Natalie Portman's Toes

Dear Friends,

Spotify undermined my creative process this month. 

Everything was going fine until we built The Dood Ranch, our dog-themed Fortress Party room. Scarlett was in charge of music, and she dutifully put together a playlist of bittersweet country songs about dogs, which we played on repeat throughout the party. That was enough to convince Spotify that I'm obsessed with this music and I never want to hear anything else. Since then, no matter what music I request, pivots and reverts to twangy dog anthems.

To make matters even more maddening, those songs weaseled their way into my subconscious. As you may have guessed, the new Hard Taco song, "The Pound," is a bittersweet country song about dogs.

The Elusive Portmantrois

A portmanteau is a word that blends the sounds and meanings of two others. The word labradoodle is a portmanteau of Labrador and Poodle. The Labra comes from Labrador and... sorry, I think I'm mansplaining!

Which is also a portmanteau. See what I did there?

In this month's digest, we will introduce the concept of the PORTMANTROIS (Port-man-TWAH). This is a lexical blend of three words that is, itself, a portmanteau of the word portmanteau and the French number trois. Sorry, mansplaining again. 

Hangri-La

Hangry (Hungry + Angry) + Shangri-La

An earthly paradise for people who get cranky while waiting for the ambrosia of the gods to be served. 

Guesstimitzvah

Guesstimate (Guess + Estimate) + Bar Mitzvah

A celebration where an individual is deemed to have reached Jewish adulthood based on an approximate and uninformed estimation of their age.

Glampede

Glamping (Glamour + Camping) + Stampede.

When tourists trample each other trying to secure the nicest yurt. 

Frenemigo

Frenemy (Friend + Enemy) + Amigo

A person who is 2/3 friend, 1/3 enemy

Chillaxative

Chillax (Chill + Relax) + Laxative

An exclamation used by surfers when they want someone to kick back and have a prune.

Bennifurnace

Bennifer (Ben Affleck + Jennifer Lopez) + Furnace

An incinerator where one tearfully burns memorabilia and tabloid clippings about their favorite celebrity ex-couple.

Romcomnivore 

Romcom (Romantic + Comedy) + Omnivore

A person who enjoys both "Love, Actually" and "Mamma Mia" even though they are totally different subgenres. 

Mocktailgate

Mocktail (Mock + Cocktail) + Tailgate

An outdoor social gathering where people "pre-game" on virgin daiquiris.

Mansplanetarium 

Mansplain (Man + Explain) + Planetarium

A dark room with a dome-shaped ceiling where you can lean over and tell women how to distinguish satellites from stars based on whether they are moving.

Bromancestor 

Bromance (Bro + Romance) + Ancestor

A forebear who shared a close, but completely platonic friendship with another man.

Jazzerseismograph 

Jazzercise (Jazz + Exercise) + Seismograph

An instrument used to record the motions of the Earth caused by synchronous high knee jogs and mambos. 

Volleybollywood 

Bollywood (Bombay + Hollywood) + Volleyball

A high energy, theatrical beach sport with prolonged and completely senseless musical interludes.

Ligerbil

Liger (Lion + Tiger) + Gerbil

A liger will only breed with a gerbil in captivity, and even then, it has to be pretty desperate. 

Alcoholic

Alka-Seltzer + Shopaholic + Chocoholic + Workaholic

A treatment for indigestion, taken after a day of overindulging on Chocohol, Shopahol, and Workahol.

Motelethong 

Motel (Motor + Hotel) + Telethon (Television + Marathon) + Thong

An event, held at a roadside inn, to raise money in the fight against visible panty lines. This is the only five-part portmanteau in English.

Kraftfahrzeughaftpflichtversicherungspolice

(Kraft + Fahrzeug + Haftpflicht + Versicherung + Police) 

A motor vehicle liability insurance policy. This is one of many five-part portmanteaus in German. In fact, they have been known to go as high as six...

Schadenfreudebratwurstkartoffelsalatfestzeltsitzplatzmangel

(Schadenfreude + Bratwurst + Kartoffel + Salat + Festzelt + Sitzplatzmangel)

The feeling of enjoying the misfortune of latecomers when the Oktoberfest beer tent is out of brats, potato salad, and seating. 

With warmest regards,

Zach

Fortress Party 2024 Retrospective

Dear Friends,

The Hard Taco song for January is called, "Steam Age Mutant Ninja Turtles." Enjoy both the song and accompanying video.

The song was created as a bit for a Fortress Party '24 room by the same name. Here is your annual Fortress Party Walk Through Video!

Here's the room-by-room recap:

• TED Talks
• Back to the Future / Fractured 1995
• National Treasure
• U.P. Yours
• 20,000 Leagues Under the Cecum
• The Dood Ranch
• Fake Moon Landing
• Steam Age Mutant Ninja Turtles 
• Wheel of Fortin'
• Where Did You Get Your Incan Done?

We had custom 30th Anniversary Shirts made this year, complete with a new logo and our catchphrase, "No nerds, please." Here are some shots of guests (and one random guy in Washington state) who wore their shirts the night of the party.

Finally, and unrelated to Fortress Party or Hard Taco, I'd like to close with a concise retrospective of the prior year. Here goes: 

2024 was a sad year for people who loved James Earls.

With warmest regards,

Zach