Dear Friends,
The Hard Taco song for January, “A Man and His Jeweler” contains no less than three explicit lyrics. This is a bit of a departure for me, because in real life, the dirtiest words I use are zounds, poppycock, criminy, and during Michael Jackson impersonation contests, smooth criminy.
This song goes out to my late Grandma Shirley, who would have loved cash-money-bling-bling rap if she had lived to see its heyday.
This being the 104th Hard Taco Digest, I humbly accept my place among the pantheon of the world’s most successful writers of unwanted emails. Today, I’d like to honor the men and women whose shoulders I stand on with a tribute to some of my favorite writers of indecipherable spam.
Spoiler alert: the unifying feature of all great spam is the liberal use of the double exclamation point!!
“Electronics and Other Goods”
Friend, are you doing? Honest, Does you approve online purchasing? I often shop goods store in a network, and mainly electronic products, even refrigerators ,yacht!! All products are sold regular discount, so see if you must need commodities at this website. Click and please make a talk!!
“Sexual Improvements”
by /\/\r. P0TeN<y
Do not dread if male erectile dysfunction has one day stricken you. This depressing news stands out, but nowadays that you have the occasion of using any male erectile dysfunction pill, you will not be left all alone with your acute health issues. Instead, you have all the likelihood of going into sex orbit, probably this weekend, after you order a pack of superior erectile dysfunction pills online. Among the benefits you get are listed many essential bonuses. But in any case getting any erectile dysfunction drugs online you acquire the reputation of a skillful and unflagging lover that most women are looking around for. It all comes down to one simple occasion - with diamond-shaped pills you get a larger signal and see the exquisite therapeutics ever with a lot of inches running on the number one cure!!
“Personal ad”
Hello!!
My name is Trina. I well pleased to contact you after going through your profile searching relationship. I saw your structure, I well-liked, And I decided to write you! My girl friend has found a man in the Internet, now is ahppy it, They always nearby with each other. I much wish to Find love, and construct a happy Loving in a specially manner. Age, distance, race, none of these matter. Rather what I value most is the demand that love will exist between us. I am 28, need children, dreams, and very beautiful. As you have very much involved me, I insist to correspond and know each other well. I will tell you about myself with my picture. Yours new friend, Trina
“Instruction Manual”
by New Lamps NOW Solutions
1. Adjust the plug, No power is consumed automatically while you press.
2. Pass the handle about three seconds after the signal light is off (the larger as possible).
3. Beware of safety: Insert not make dangerous in flammable substance.
4. Twist until handle. “I’m sure you will enjoy using it!!”
Yours new friend
Zach!!
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